A real-life Hans x Elsa scene, suggesting what a live-action Frozen film (this one with the correct romance - Helsa) could look like.
(My own extended review of Frozen appears [here].)
I just realized that a writing blog started following me.
Now I’m so tensed about posting my crappy writings. asdfghjkl
とびら開けて (Open Door)
“I’ve been searching my whole life to find my own place… And maybe it’s the party talking, or the chocolate fondue?”
It’s not your eyes
It’s not what you say
It’s not your
That gives you aщaу
You’re just ｌｏｎｅｌｙ
You’ve been ｌｏｎｅｌｙ, too long
生まれてはじめて (Umarete Hajimete)
In my three years as an editor and two as a writing center tutor, I have learned that commas are the most commonly misunderstand punctuation.
Even worse, commas in fiction can be subjective. I’m going to cover some bases with how to use commas that aren’t as obvious.
- Use commas for independent clauses. Independent clauses are sentences that can stand on their own.
Amelia couldn’t stand looking at Oliver, but she also couldn’t stand that she had been betrayed by someone who loved her since they met. Remove the ‘but,’ and both sentences can stand on their own. However, when a sentence is short with two independent clauses, a comma isn’t necessary: I like apples and he likes bananas.
- Use a comma to set off introductory elements. The introductory element is often a dependent clause, meaning it depends on an independent clause to function as a full sentence.
Racing away from Theosodore, Amelia threw herself against the door and began slamming her fists against the flimsy wood.
- Use commas between independent clauses and dependent clauses.
Amelia was still shaken, although she hadn’t lost her life. If you add the second phrase in front of the independent clause, it becomes an introductory element—hence, add that comma.
- Use commas to set off parenthetical elements. The parenthetical element is a sentence that can be removed without changing the meaning.
Amelia’s brother, who is eight years old, can see the shadows, too. Remove the parenthetical element, and the meaning doesn’t change.
- Use a comma to prevent misunderstanding.
Amelia ran to the door, running faster than a hoard of skittering spiders. Without that comma, people would think the door was running.
Outside, the blue sky contrasted with the storm in Amelia’s heart. Remove the comma, and the sentence becomes nonsense.
- Use a comma to separate coordinate adjectives.
The tall, terrifying shadow stood over Amelia, glaring deep into her eyes. Here’s a simple trick: put and between tall and terrifying. Read it out loud. If it makes sense, then put a comma there.
Now here are some sentences where comma usage can be subjective in fiction. These commas are stylistic choice.
"So she went to the store." Without a comma, this reads as a simple statement, changing the tone entirely. It seems as if the speaker is annoyed.
"So, she went to the store." This reads as more of an explanation than a simple statement.
Amelia couldn’t stop the shadows because she was too busy protecting her brother. A comma doesn’t really seem necessary, however…
Amelia hated staring into Oliver sad gray eyes filled with unending voids, because she could see so much of herself in them. I put a comma there, as the sentence before ‘because’ is longer than previous example I gave. But, really, using a comma before ‘because’ is actually pretty subjective, depending on how you want your readers to read it. It also helps to break up a longer sentence.
Another interesting comma usage that can change the meaning of a sentence entirely. “Stop slapping, Nathaniel.” Without that comma, Nathaniel is the one being slapped.
There are a bunch of other rules for commas, but I wanted to point out the most commonly misused rules. (Don’t overuse commas.) Here is a link for more instances of comma usage: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
Re-blog for fellow writers frustrated with the poor, misunderstood comma. Next post will be on creating tension in your story.
Letting out a sharp huff of air at the male display in front of her Yvette turned her face upward and spoke with an icy tone to her voice.
"I am not some mere human. I have power and strength Hakumen…I will return to see you again despite the Seithr. Next time though I won’t let you off very easily like now. I don’t care how old, strong, or sure you are. So thank you for the concern however I will be staying right here…” Even if he hadn’t meant it she felt insulted as her eyebrow twitched with annoyance. Most men thought she was just a fragile woman. How she wished to prove them wrong. But as someone once said…"Cooler heads prevail"
With a defiant display of her point being made the young French origin woman crossed her arms tightly over her chest narrowing her teal irises as she scoffed gently looking down and away from the White Void.
Hakumen just stared at the girl with his blank look for almost a minuet, amazed and at the same way annoyed on how stubborn she is. “Very well then.” He suddenly said. “If you wish to stay in this place, then you can do whatever you want. But must I just warn you that if anything wrong should even happen, then you are to defend yourself, for I am not here to protect or accompany anyone.” With that clearly said, Hakumen finally unfolded his arms and turned his back on the girl. He then headed off to the deeper and darkest part of the forest, where no one can bother and see him, nevertheless if she’ll follow him.